Sex, Love and New Paradigm Union:
#newparadigm #maleandfemalebalance #sexualunion #createsomethingnew #createwhatyoursoulwants #knowwhatyouwant #beworthyofmore #consciousnessexpands
I think the old paradigm male/female connection and synthetic and ego relationships needs to be shed, it doesn’t suit most people (hence all the: fights, gender battles, abuse and cheating) but most people don’t question it to create something new.
I now will only enter into a Sacred Soul Union with someone, and only engage in Sacred Sex.
But I now know what I want with clarity.
I couldn’t get it before I knew of the opposite. All my actions will be aligned to only accepting these things into my world as possibilities.
Get Clear, Learn what you don’t want, Labels of the old and common way don’t work for most people.
We are worth the joy, bliss, expansion, infinite and unconditional love.
A lot of stigma comes along with the titles of girlfriend, marriage and relationship, this will affect you and the other person you verbally and/or written contract with for connection. Does this serve your highest good? Or is it what we have been told is the only way to connect, engage and be intimate with another person?
There is always choices and we have the power to create our lives and ourselves in any way we choose. Who are we really?
I choose unconditional love, freedom, sacred and divine deep connection, total respect, expression and conscious expansion and growth with any other person I decide to merge my soul with.
I urge if only to think about this, for a little while and ask yourself why you want so badly to follow a tradition that limits you, makes you owned, makes you wish to resist, creates conflict, a potential for hurt and betrayal, devalues your infinite soul and sacred temple and makes you feel guilted into it.
Sex and relationships are not even about love anymore, they become about what people can get, through finances, things, kids, time, gifts, attention and validation of them as to feel like they are worthy to exist and be loved. But we all are worthy.
Love begins within and you won’t be happy and truly connected to another soul or being until you learn to do it within yourself.
Now I am not saying don’t get married if you wish to, but from the things I have learnt of observing myself, my ego, my insecurities, doing massive healing on all levels, self love and dream therapy work I have started to see where a new way can be needed for me. The old does not fulfil me and what my soul is craving for.
The final decider to share my new clarity on what I really want in a connection and partnership with someone has come after having four and a half years mostly single and for nearly two years of that time I was celibate as I was unable to climax after some time in a relationship and not feeling trust or intimacy. I was in the normal relationships from the age of 17-24 all but about 5 months of my adult life was I free to be me, learn about me and do what I wanted. I always ended up bored and feeling trapped and like I had lost myself to the other person and their needs and wants, which was always a choice. But after a 5 year relationship that ended and I left with hardly anything after working for 4 years at a job I hated in order to make a family home and have a fair relationship, I was angry and I realized while in India several years later, all the daddy issues come up, but it wasn’t just my daddy, it was the masculine energy, I had mutated my own masculine and shunned it, and any male to me was untrustworthy and would break my heart after getting my trust or use me for sex, which I was usually very clever to avoid.
After hitch hiking around Australia in April, I was more aware of myself and my sexuality and desires, I was more balanced in both energies, I had learned to become vulnerable and intuitive and nurturing and also powerful, creative, protective and supportive. I was falsely led into a guy’s place under the pretenses that he liked me, he appeared to be a spiritual guy wanting to be genuine. I fell for a lie, he then proceeded to manipulate me and kicked me out of his bed after saying he can’t offer me more than sex, he spent hours seeming uninterested after I arrived and I was happy to just hang out. But then when he kissed me and stopped and said “I can’t offer you more.” I was confused, for one I didn’t know him that well, so I was silly to be there in the first place, but we had met before and had many mutual spiritual and kind friends. After I said I was ok either way, since I was actually tired and just wanted to go to sleep, he said I will set up the couch for you. I was shocked and started thinking “Oh my god, no one has ever thrown me out of their bed”, but it got worse, he than text me and told me to come back, I said no and after many messages he came and grabbed my hand and took me outside with a blanket to have sex under the stars, I felt shocked and I didn’t stop him. Why? and than while we were having sex, I realized something in my new awareness. I wasn’t in my body, I actually realized I am not usually in my body, I start making noises and they think I am enjoying myself, but I total disassociate not feeling intimacy or connection of the soul level, my soul protected me.
On some level this was sexual abuse, how ever I learnt something and I will not go into pressing charges, I am happy to raise awareness for other men and women who have been manipulated like this as I know many have, but the issues for this goes much deeper. Some people see this as OK, that this is the norm and our culture, so many fear commitment, when really they just want Soul Mate or our Twin Flame and don’t know how to go about it, or creating true intimate and soul connections. We are not taught how to connect to ourselves, we are taught to feel guilty about sex, sensuality and connection. How wrong is this? For our first desires as children on learning to connect is naturally and primitively a sexual urge for connection of the soul, for deep pleasure and feeling of protection, nurture and transcendance of the physical body. It is not wrong. The warped collective view of connection, and companionship and community is way unbalanced and rigid.
Even as children we get conditioned to feel love conditionally from our parents, teachers and adults, as that is what they know. Real love is unconditional, no limits, boundaries are beneficial for growth and clarity, but love shouldn’t be the result of being something specific or doing something specific, or even more what relationship or title a person has in relation to you. Someone you just met deserves unconditional love as much as a partner, relative or close friend. Love only has limits when we believe in a lie, which limits its true power and creative and transcending potential. We are all worthy of joy, peace, love and passion in abundance. But we must first question what we have been taught and be prepared to think for ourselves and our choices for what fuels our soul and our best intentions for growth, well-being and fulfilment.
After this above interaction occurred, I changed dramatically, I had realized where I had changed something in me to become more female and submissive, but it was imbalanced to my masculine to protect me and empower me. I decided after that I wanted a relationship but not a normal one and soon after I was getting premonitions of an amazing kiss, I had it every few weeks, like it was happening in real life, I couldn’t see anyone though. I noticed a new friend on facebook not long after this, Jc, a seemingly spiritual guy with mutual friends, I tuned in and there was a massive attraction. I will not tell the whole story but me and Jc met and before we did, we knew each other, not from chatting but on a soul level. We were in a relationship after the second time we met, I was set to go overseas for 6 months, which was part of my spiritual journey and this had thrown a huge spanner in the works, nothing flowed for me to leave. Me and Jc hadn’t even kissed before we were in a relationship, he was very shy and the first time we kissed was after 30 minutes of soul gazing, nothing else existed, I was flowing out so much poetry and we were so in love. But the feeling of resistance and the title what felt like chains to me got in the way. Not long after my dad kicked me out of his place, I had been staying there before heading overseas for 6 months. So kindly Jc offered for me to stay at his, we had only met 5 weeks prior and for me this was a huge rush, I was so freaked out feeling it was going to ruin everything.
All others show us ourselves, or parts of us, they will trigger our wounds, and as we learn to reflect and take more responsibility for our sovereignty, we begin to feel empowered to make choices for our highest good and then we can show up more authentic to everything in our lives and speak our truth, face our fears, have faith in the unknown and risk it big and get the rewards.
I am sad to say but as of yesterday me and him are now extremely close friends, we grew so much the past 6 weeks of our official partnership, I strived to not use terms like girlfriend and boyfriend as I know words hold vibration and I wanted something new, this thing we had, this connection was different. Other worldly, and I have been in love before, even love at first sight. In the past 24 hours after we have gone our separate ways we have gotten even closer without the weight of the status looming over us. We will remain close friends and I am going overseas, the means to leave have showed up just in time. Perhaps once more healing occurs in both of the divine masculine and feminine we could maybe engage in a soul union but we felt that 6 years of experiences passed through us in mere 6 weeks. The immense growth and transformation we have both had and I feel the potential would have been even more without the dense structure and labels of society’s ideal of life and companionship. All my past stuff came up and as it did I learnt where I projected my old view of what the perfect women should be in a relationship, it wasn’t me, it wasn’t real and it most certainly wasn’t sustainable. I was drained and felt unfulfilled, I know all the circumstances unfolded as they should, for me to learn and share this. There was many things at play, things which kept me feeling trapped and drained and stuck in an unnatural flow of being, to think I needed it to connect and unite with another soul. But we don’t.
Right before me and Jc agreed to be a couple I was frustrated, as I was about to go overseas and I didn’t know where I stood, I felt his energy change in preparation for me leaving and I confronted him, I then post on facebook these 11 tips for conscious dating , which I had learned over the past four and a half years of being single and searching for what I was really looking for. He saw it and messaged me about it, we took things virtually to the I love you stage and had only hugged twice and held hands, but a few days later we were on facebook officially a couple and I had a bad and trapping feeling about the title, even though I thought he knew my views, I allowed it and all that was to follow. I wanted infinite and deep soul connection, not mundane and purely physical and emotional responsibility to another and all the dramas that follow that.
If you are single, married, or coupled, ask yourself why are you with someone? What is the connection for? Could you be more fulfilled? Is it within you or is it in the restriction and resistance to an outdated view of connection, intimacy and companionship.
“Real love is not about labels and ownership. It’s about letting the infinite and pure creative force expand without limitations.” – Cynthia Jauch
In a world of labels, critics, definitions, political correctness, diagnosis and major logic it is easy to get stuck in a box, but that is not where we or love belongs. Love is naturally unconditional, why place restrictions on that which is infinite and perfect.
With our titles and explanations, we limit our potential for growth and expansion, for freedom, we have become accustomed to this, through experience from our youth. We can change, we can leap out of the boxes, re define what it means to love and be loved. Not need an ego gratification of an illusion of proof and forever. Love is infinite, people in our lives change. It is good. Learn to trust and love yourself. Than you will not feel trapped and confined by the labels, past energy of our ancestors and the vibration of the labels.
We can choose our essence and our magical life, we don’t need to be owned to feel love, we don’t need to be told we are taken care of, if we have faith we know we always are. Release your insecurity of the need to know for certain and to have someone forever, we are all connected and one.
With Peace, Love and Light.
Namaste – Infinite blessings
Learning: What does this word mean to you? School? University? Perhaps self study?
We do not get taught how to learn, only what to remember in school, for us to get a job and or have more study where we are told what to remember and how to behave. Has learning lost it’s spark, where knowledge becomes meaningless and just a thing to force your brain to retain to get a piece of paper? If so it is a sad truth. But I know there is a better way.
Learning can be joyous, from experience comes wisdom and this moulds marvellous creations and infinite expansion. We have an untapped abilty to be amazing beings of growth, innovation and tremendous potential but we all have our own unique genius and way of learning. Some people prefer visual, some kinesthetic (touch), some audio. As we allow ourselves to learn things with a method and process to easily retain the information and knowledge we require for a fulfilling life and achieving our goals and desires, learning becomes so much fun.
I recall hating school, I was bored and I spoke and got in trouble, my body and soul responding to this with physical illness in which I was accused at the time of being a hypercondriac as my symptoms and actions did not match up, my mum didn’t know what to do with me. I left school just before I turned 15, as 15 was the legal age. Barely completing grade 8 and since my self education and learning has sky rocketed, I fell in love with learning and using my skills and unique essence to have more learning faster, from reading, writing, course creation, workshops and much more. My knowledge, language, written and math skills far surpass my siblings who have completed all their schooling years and some even uni or college. For my love of learning and not just memorizing what I am told, has infinite potential, I am not capped at what others decide or how others choose to judge or critic my ability to know or use information.
We each hold the keys for our mind and their potential and if we have kids we have choices of how to allow them to grow and flourish in their lives and education. What and how is the most beneficial way to learn? In this fast paced digital age there is so much information and technology at our fingertips to be able to achieve so much and our options seem so much wider, so why are our education institutes more limited? in resources? in processes? In life? In passion? We can change this. It all starts with us. Changing our own views on what is acceptable and using the tools to learn for ourselves, using our experiences to learn wisdom and having more empowerment in how we are educated.
Select a new subject to study and choose for the learning to be fun and I suggest the below 5 tips to help with this:
- Know your learning style, Audio, Digital, Visual or Kinesthetic (Touch and Hands on)
- Use something you like doing with your learning i.e listening to your fav music.
- Pick a subject you love.
- Get a friend or loved one involved to learn with you.
- Set your mind to banish the negative view of learning from whatever negative experience you had. it isn’t about remembering, it is about enjoying the journey to new understanding for life and experience.
As we each shift our view of what education and learning can be we open up the collective view of our own inner potential to grow and excel in life, experience and choice. We are all full of untapped wisdom and potential. I encourage you today to let it shine.
With love, peace and light.
Self-love. What does it mean? #LoveYourSelf
To me, self-love is about removing all the thoughts, feelings, words and actions which are unloving towards ourselves. This is a process, but an extremely important one. When we are unconsciously feeling unworthy and unloved by us or by others, we create sabotage and punishment for ourselves. Leaving us feeling lonely, abandoned and unworthy of the things we deserve and desire. But we have put ourselves there. Yes, our society does not educate us to embrace our individuality, in fact it suppresses our nifty quirks and gifts, all to be the same for a future of feeling enslaved by a system and grabbing at little things to create joy and fulfilment, easily addicted to that little time we feel love, or joy and then when it is gone, we crumble, not having a solid pillar of inner love for us, which is so important for our growth, fulfilment, and connections in life.
On my own journey, I have discovered that this inner feeling of unworthiness started when I was ever so young, from memories of childhood and then in school. It is easy to blame the situations but I know I am responsible for creating the theme and the life I desire. So it comes down to choosing to release the pain and thoughts of the past. To become more aware of where I am not doing things which are for my highest good and committing to me to change and grow through the challenges and hurt.
We really do set the bar for how others will treat us and if you reflect on your thoughts, words, and actions for you, then you will see where this is how others are treating you. We are so worthy of unconditional love and respect, the feeling of worth we felt as little babies. We have truly infinite potentials and when we show up present to see, forgive, love and nurture ourselves, all around us transforms. My self-love journey has not been easy though, as the best things never are always easy. On my path I have made sacrifices, learned discipline and had many nights crying, healing my wounds from the past, letting the shadows of myself rise and fall away, creating actions and commitment to be more true to my heart and live in a way that nurtures me and achieves the things I desire. To allow me to feel supported, loved, worthy and my expression important and honored.
Here is a video from my YouTube Channel on Self Love:
After walking a path of putting everyone else first and making myself sick to be accepted by others, to put on a brave face and be tough and be friendly all the time, do what everyone wanted, be what everyone wanted, I could only do it so long before my world came crumbling down in a heap, crying, sick and alone not knowing who to call, feeling like I was unworthy of this life, like who was I to live, to breath, to do what I wanted, but in those moments I surrendered and felt something beyond me ease my pain, I had words of encouragement from within me, nurturing me, telling me what I would want another to say. These moments in my life were to this day some of the most profound. I felt inner strength, courage, and a desire and mission to share, to love myself deeply and to be an example of love that others can hold for themselves.
When we feel loved and appreciated we excel at everything, like when you fall in love, you are on a high, on cloud nine, a cocktail of happy hormones are released in your mind and you feel unstoppable. So I say learn to fall in love with you, flaws and all then your world will have no choice but to follow suit.
A great mentor once told me of a person who changed their life by saying they met someone who loved themselves so much it gave them permission to do the same. This is so true, the more we treat ourselves with love and respect, in a gentle and nurturing way, with our thoughts, words, actions and the things we choose to allow in our world, the greater gift we can give and share with others. The best leaders, lead by example, people follow authentic people, they can trust, if you see someone walking their talk you don’t need to question them or what they do or say, their lives become a testament to what can be achieved and what wisdom they have gained from experience in life.
Take our masks off, let ourselves be free, to see our real selves, to heal the past, to forgive deeply for how we have hurt ourselves, to support our inner child and find integration and balance in ourselves, to flow with life’s waves and receive all the abundance we deserve.
So I created the Self Loved-Up 21-day online program to share this with others, for those it resonates with. To guide, encourage, promote and share how self-love will be a catalyst for so much more in life, feeling supported, empowered and ready to achieve your dreams, smash barriers and grow daily to be your truest potential.
21 days of activities, videos, a community of other self-love warriors, coming together to share, grow and support one another on removing those things in our way of feeling deep self-love, acceptance, and purpose, to be the best version of ourselves we can be.
If you know anyone who may be interested in joining the link is here:
To pledge to my Patreon:
“Be Real, Be True, Be Honest, Be YOU.” – Destiny Fae
Intuitive Medium, Transformation Coach, Healing Facilitator, Poetry, Writer/Author, Inspirational Speaker, Thought Leader and New Earth Visionary. – for sessions email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Check out past posts: The Seed: Whole Systems Transformation, Being a WOMAN, Divine Masc and Fem Rising, Respecting Your Sacred Temple, A Journey of 1000 miles — Your birth is that first step…, DREAM BIG – THINK BIG – LOVE BIG = 3 Manifesting Wows, Xmas Magic – Power of YOU and 10 Greatest Lessons from Adversity
Inspired to Inspire:
As far back as I can remember I had people saying I was inspiring, from my courage to speak up and be seen, to being really authentic and caring, not worrying what people thought of me. I would dance, sing, draw, write, share and laugh, enjoying every part of self expression I could. There was some times when the scrutiny of people seeing me and criticising me for standing out, affected me, I was young, I was a bit chubby and I came from a big family, so I was always in the back of my head almost fighting to be seen, I am the middle child you see, haha! I did have middle child syndrome for a time. Learning to accept myself and enjoy time alone was one of the greatest lessons for me to learn.
I grew up in a big family, with parents separated and neither parent worked, so there wasn’t much in the way of luxuries, or family holidays or fun trips, we went to school and played in the yard or with the kids around the street. I really didn’t like life when I was growing up, all the pressure to be the same in school (most of us hated this) but for me I felt it was like torture and punishment. I had many friends in different groups but was never close to anyone. I always felt quite lonely, especially at home. My mum suffered from deperession and was on antidepressants. She was a strong and amazing women, I always envied her ability to go and get things done, never asking for help from anyone. A real independent woman, I aspired to be like that. Me and my mum were very similar, always wanting to connect with lots of people, and have a long chat. Never afraid to speak about ourselves and our stories.
As I got older and dropped out of high school, things go heavy, I was pressured to conform. To do what I was told to get money from the government or get any job. Because of my parents financial choices, I had no back up. I struggled with the whole growing up thing, I saw adults making choices which made them unhappy and it never made sense. I thought there had to be another way, or what a boring and meaningless existence. When I felt so unmotivated and didn’t see the point in living like others, as I knew I was different, I would turn to sleep and my dreams, I began to write. I wrote poetry and reflections on life and the things I aspired to, I set huge goals and started reading self help books at seventeen, no one I knew did this. I was always told by adults to get over it and just be like everyone else, get a job, go to study, move out, get married, have kids, like there was no other way, no other choice.
Deep from within me, I knew there was another way, I had a burning passion, to make a way, to see a way. What was stopping me? If I used my brain and grew with time, anything was possible, this was how I always felt. It didn’t matter if I was different, or the only one doing this. I knew for my happiness and my life, if I learned what I could, from the fields which interests me and I took great action I could do anything. I was teased a lot by my elder sister through this time, I was learning who I was, I was not ashamed to dress different, all colourful and be seen, or judged. She never liked this, so she aspired to push me down and make me feel bad, to make herself feel better. I learnt so much from her pain and how she projected it onto me.
As I started reflecting and growing my lessons, moving through adversity and allowing my potential to really come through, with my poetry and sometime living in a dream land in my head. I would have people occasionally say, I had inspired them, my words, writing, kindness or courage and this lit a flame deep within me. I found inside me a deep well of passion, strength, perseverance and creativity, to express to be heard, to share and to dance through life as happy and vibrant as I could. This was when my slogan came to me, it became my Mantra “Be real, Be true, Be honest, Be YOU.” (which is tattooed across my left forearm, since before travelling solo for 2 months overseas in 2015).
We all have our stories, our heart aches, our challenges, those people who pushed us down, but those experiences all shape who we are. They grow our skills, our experience, our resilience, inner strength, passion and love and acceptance of self. Striving to know deep within our true self, our true potential, we are all so powerful and amazing. All of us hold different inner gifts and skills, which we can share. I wanted to share my lessons with everyone, to encourage them, and let them see and know that “they can do anything”.
As my life went on and I got into a relationship, I changed for those I was with, I let my light be dimmed to lift them up, as many of us do. We can lose ourselves in others, when we feel we will help them and this can be both addictive and toxic to ourselves and our souls. I learnt through my changes and relationships, to honour myself deeper , my true inner knowing and intuition and to put me first, then give the excess to others. I am always filled with inspiration to create and share and it is always over flowing to share with others. I feel so grateful for this and all the experience I have had and learned from all the people in my life. I was always told I should be a counsellor, as I loved helping others and people always opened up to me but it did not resonate with me, once I heard about coaching, it made so much sense, I had studied management with an underlying basis in coaching, due to the trainers degree and experience, from a job I worked at. Sharing tools, and seeing the best in others, enabling them to remove their obstacles and feel empowered was so much a hit for me. I felt I had done this naturally for so long.
From all the things passed in the last 28 years of my life, I have come up with 12 Pillars for living and extremely Inspired Life. I studied movement, in dance, art, exercise, sports, poetry, writing, philosophy, relationships, business, speakers, projects, cooking, nutrition, natural remedies and watched many inspiring people, including Oprah Winfrey, when she was in Australia in 2015. I observed and gathered information, watching speakers, reading articles and using those amazing experiences in my life and I was so overwhelmed with excitement, momentum and joy to share what I have learned.
I created 12 Pillars of living an Inspired life, From the Inner Inspirer to Inspired Soul to Inspired Relationships. It has been a pleasure bringing together all those amazing things in my life and knowing how it all joins together, from connecting people, to writing, to creative works, to self expression and speaking. It has delighted me so much reflecting on this time and how I can now deliver something which can enable anyone to use some principles and activities to sky rocket their lives into the thriving and in love presence that are worth being in this world, and how important it is right now.
I am heart felt in my thanks to you for sharing in this time with me, from the young me, to the now me, I am so honoured for you following and if you happen to pass me by one day. Please ensure to give me a hug and share your deepest passion and desires, for this is what lights up my world to know, those things that spark you into your path, your passion and your purpose.
This is the link to the program: The Inspired Life next one commencing on 26th September.
“Be Real – Be True – Be Honest – BE YOU.”
With love, peace and light.
Do you share your heart?
With yourself? With others?
Do you shield yourself? Your feelings?
Scared of being hurt?
Have you detached from the magic within you? Your inner truth?
Your innocence? Creativity? Divinity?
What would you need to find the courage? To face yourself? To see yourself? To love yourself?
We all walk different paths, to different destinies. But we all hold the same potential. Infinite!!!!
Only we hold ourselves back and allow others to control us, influence us, hurt us, harm us.
To block from anything you block from you, your truth, your intuition, your inner compass and guidance.
Feelings are powerful, for growth, for experience, great teachers to us learning how to truly live in this flesh. To transcend its limits to who we really are, our eternal essence our connection to our passion and purpose.
Don’t hide in your shadow and then run from it. Allow integration of all parts of ourselves.
“Be Real – Be True – Be Honest – BE YOU.”
With love, peace and light.
Today I held my granddads hand, he struggles to talk from Parkinson’s and other things from old age, but I wait and listen to make out his words, always as usual calling me beautiful with the biggest smile and so much gentleness, he mentioned my mum, being his first baby, I look a lot like her, she passed away 21 months ago, I could see a few tears in his eyes as he mentioned her and we held hands in silence and he strokes my hand, he looked well today. When I was younger he struggled to accept my rebellious personality and I didn’t like him trying to restrain me, I realise how much he is like my dad in that sense, they say we marry our parents.
What I shared with him today was so special, it was so heart felt and I will cherish it so much, in that moment only him and I existed, I wouldn’t be here today if my granddad didn’t meet my grandmother (bless her soul), he is my last living grandparent and I said to him today, you are the guardian of the family, watching over us with his wisdom. My mum was with me, I could feel her smiling so happily, seeing all the family together as she loved so much, she would be so grateful to my sister for organising this and I’m so humbled and grateful for that experience no matter how brief before I leave overseas. For a moment in time, a gem of pure connection and love shared through generations, he recognised my mom’s engagement ring on my hand and looked at it. I shared with him my reason for wearing it on my engagement finger. He smiled in understanding.
Simple love and touch transcends all else, it’s beyond time, beyond space, experience beyond physical matter.
💖We are all infinite in possibilities and potential, don’t limit others by your view of your own limitations.💖
“Be Real – Be True – Be Honest – BE YOU.”
With love, peace and light.