Being a WOMAN:
*Note, it has been a long time since I have written like this and the time has come, for a lot that has been integrated to be let free.
In this world we live in being either gender can be challenging, there is massive controls, manipulation, and suppression all around, but for part of the separation of the gender, the power and patriarchal institutions for women, it can be a very rough ride.
I want to share with you the harsh truth and the amazing future we are thriving into, for the success of those courageous and amazing women who went before us.
When I was a little girl, I was very sensitive, the fighting in my family really hit me deep, I really struggled to push things under the rug, and move on from arguments, disrespect, and abuse, like most of my siblings, did. Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a victim story, for me or for women.
My mum was an amazing example of strength, she was a brave brave woman, giving birth to 6 children, then becoming single while pregnant with 5 when I was only 4. My mum was amazing, but for all these kids, low income, no financial aid from my dad, out of fear and pride, and continued abuse thrown at her after this, from his perspective of a hurt child being abandoned, when he was naughty – physical and emotional abuse, unconscious wounds from his youth and upbringing – he couldn’t see the results and impact his reactions had on my mum or us and effectively the connection and added challenge on both, as well as on his own life. But this story is one like many, from the archetypal play of his -story, that has been playing out for a very long time, longer than most will allow themselves to believe. The sad thing is, all in this story are hurt, and suffering, doing their best, especially the little girl at four, falling off the swing and hurting herself, and going to cry and her mum looking at her from a distance and staring, but not moving or expressing what is going on, in this child’s mind, she is on her own now……..
Many things occur when we are young, things which affect us, most of us unconsciously our whole lives, story; his or hers, playing out again and again, through ancestors like a curse. Sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, usually being silenced, mostly the women, because, in our society, the feminine is weak and should not be heard, she should be submissive. But this is all changing, each day more and more women and men, speak up of the results in their reality of the wrongs being done in this world, because of the ego-driven, thinking priority conscious masses, who have been put in a trap, a reoccurring hell to some.
I could say #metoo, yes, as a child – memories suppressed from the boy next store touching me and than someone seeing and the guilt of society being forced into that child, like they are bad, they did something wrong – as an adult – leaving my body, after he didn’t stop when I said no many times, he didn’t even think he did anything wrong, like I owed him. – it’s ingrained deep, the game of duality, or suppress the goddess, the wisdom, the darkness, the power of the womb, they say she is weak, but they also fear her, truth and her power, if she ever realizes it and how it will affect them, their actions, behavior and oh how they might have to wake up and actually change.
But this isn’t for me, this is for the feminine everywhere. Now at nearly 30 years of age, after again putting the boy first, flying halfway across the world, to be with someone, who I never met, but my intuition guided me here. For what? After a few months in separate rooms, the same story playing out again. Is His-story? Her-story? My story or yours? Is it any different? until we release these stories, send them love, share them with pride for the courage we have to be here, to go through the challenges, the pain and find the peace and light through the torture and darkness, that love usually gets us into. But is that really love? At first, it always feels like love, you open your heart, feel the potential, feel the excitement, even as a conscious person, knowing you have done many years of self-love and inner work, could you finally be done with all the abuse, unhealthy relationships, and karma? and then, the same ancestral story, he closes off, he rejects you, as he rejects himself, and his inner god and goddess, the power of love, if real, is not for the faint of heart. The light will shine on your shadows, and most of us, tend to run from our shadows.
The signs of true love are all there, telepathy, synchronicity, deep love, care and desire to be united as one, you want the same things, you have had the same experiences, you feel so connected, and then……… The truth comes out, you are too this, or too that, and all the self-sabotage comes to the surface, for both of you, you clash, and even when you have come to some space, integration, and peace, there is still something missing. You go back to loving self, as a woman, who puts nurturing others first. As the mother sex, the birthing, main caregiving archetype. you have so much love, naturally you want to give it, but when that person is closed off afraid, in judgement and hurting, they have nothing to give you but their pain, which looks like all the reasons why you are not good enough, even if they really love you and want to be with you deep down. But this is the typical story. Sometimes, this plays out with the guy over giving and a hurt girl who can’t trust, who takes to feel healed and full, and never feels enough, and feels they have nothing to give and closes off their heart, their life force and their potential for true intimacy and union.
Now I am sure most of you have been heartbroken before, most of us associate love with pain, so we are closed, and then when the little love and attention shows up and we open a bit, we get addicted, burn it out, and get stuck in lust or fantasies of perfect and forever, to be hurt, betrayed or hit with the reality of how little we know how to honor and respect ourselves, as we haven’t often been taught to do this by anyone. And the cycle continues.
As I reflect over my much needed time in a room, to myself, in the nurturing country of Mexico, I move over these stories, of abandonment, rejection, abuse, and pain, I wonder what would happen, if me opening my heart wasn’t attached to my perspective or desire and attachment for someone else to behave a certain way for me to be the loving person we naturally can be, all the time, starting with self. It is easy to create stories about how our pain is because of an outside force, someone else, something else, but us, but the truth is, when we close our heart off, which is a choice, we close off the wisdom the connection and our bliss, we close of the connection to mother nature, to our inner goddess and out true potential for happiness and real love.
I know it can be challenging to forgive, to stop blaming outside forces for these pains and feelings of not being safe inside us, but the pain is not from opening our hearts, it’s from expecting anyone else to be completely healed and healthy all the time, and are prepared to know how to treat us, better than we often treat ourselves. I see in my divine mirror the hurt and rejection of self, the way he negatively judges his body, not living up to the expectations of society, taking on the karmic pattern of his father, being judgmental of women and their bodies, feeling disconnected from his divine inner goddess, as his dad judged his mum, and other women, from the programming he too received, as he then takes off the ancestral karma, being focused and stuck in the five senses of this 3d plane, when we really are multidimensional beings. As my dad judged my mums body, and physically hurt her from his pain, as I have seen in my great great grandfather doing the same to my great great grandmother, as my beloved soul mirror, tries to point out to me that my face doesn’t look how he wants it too and how the photos I take of myself are misleading to the other angles of how I look in his eyes, crying out for love, and to open his heart, as he throws nasty words of judgement and shame onto me, from his wounded inner child, and what it was told……
But NOW, we can see it, we can see the patterns, the stories. The past, the future need not look so dull, sharp and harsh. We can choose to open our hearts, to forgive, to have compassion, as a women, we can be the leader, we can open to the goddess first, speak our truth, out the victim in us and rise into our natural state of freedom, and into our inner unity with the divine in our hearts. The choice is yours, I see you, I hear you, I love you, I honor you, I thank you, for being here, to help clear this mess up, clean our smudged view and create the new path for our future and our children and theirs.
After a very emotional trigger from sexual abuse (but the time triggered was from a lover) I channeled this>>>>>>> for those everywhere who are here to feel and be reborn.
You lay there, lump in your throat. Wanting to cry. Your soul leaving, the body. He is looking at, your body. But he doesn't see, you. Eyes full of want. For a taste, he thinks he deserves. A taking, he thinks is his, right. You said no, he doesn't, hear a word you, say. Feeling trapped, abused. Left to decay, No words, can escape, to share this, twisted experience. How could you, let this happen. Why did you, attract this? Don't you love yourself? They tell you, they like you. You are beautiful. You want to believe, them. If you aren't, what is your use? Being a women, if not to be used? To be treated, as a toy, for their wants, needs and desires. The gentleness, the love gone. True, care and devotion. She is not adored. What went so wrong. Don't they know her power? Or do they want to, use it for them self? Her portal, to other realms. Taken from her. She does not, deserve pleasure. That is for them? The feminine, the creator of life, the birth giver. She is getting, enraged. Ready to claim, her rightful place. But with love, with compassion. For those suffering, cutting off their love. Harming out of program. They harm themselves too. They hate themselves. Their thoughts, keep them trapped. The cycle will end, oh don't you worry. She is waking up. Her power will, not be taken. Her voice silenced, no more. No need to be ready, Her power, to be reborn. In every women, and those noble men. Brave enough to, explore, the other part of self. Wrongfully suppressed. Our true divine nature. You are ready. The road back, to inner harmony. The time is now, ready, to break free. The goddess, in you and, the goddess in me. The fires will burn, the roars will ripple, across the cosmos. She has returned. She is ready, to be in her true, state. Honored and worshiped. Pleasured, explored with love, with touch, with passion, fun and, Divine ecstasy. For healing, exploding across, the Earth, NOW. Let those fires, shine. Let your voice be heard, your glory seen. Your gift be shared, with those worthy, in reverence, for self-divinity. The scars, the karma, to wash away. To release, the pain of yesterday. Prepare yourself, to feel the purification. We will be reborn. In our sources, love. Breath in deep, the life so true. Release, your hurt, it's almost through. Tonight, the tears, of all Earth's pain, purified, the path to NEW. The scream, of all suffering, the truth, came through. Love you, so much, nothing less will do. Cherish, your heart, your soul, your divine you.
(c) 2017 Destiny Fae
“Unleash the power within!!
Your powers lay dormant until you choose to unlock them, the key lies in your heart. Step into your authentic power and truth.
The DRAGON sleeps beneath, silently, still and surreal, the spiritual warrior and salvation of your inner light……
I am learning on my sacred path, to surrender to my infinite power, the light and the darkness, finding the gem in the sacred union within, the massive flow and dance between the many parts and poles of your self.
My inner fire is burning brightly, raising and purifying my many bodies, integrating and flowing, guiding me closer to spirit and my true potential.
FEMININE and MASCULINE embrace your inner flame, your roar, your truth and power, your FREEDOM, your infinite LOVE, SOUL and expansion.
I call to you, to that deep yearning within you, let your soul soar, be free, be you, allow yourself with no apologies, forgive yourself and others, come to peace, come to love, come to your heart and inner birth right.
Come with me on this journey back to UNITY, it begins within, we are the ones to save ourselves and the earth that loves and gives us life.” – Destiny Fae
Check out: Traveller Destiny – Xmas Magic – Power of YOU, Growth from the Journey, $1 a HUG, As the Phoenix rises from the Ashes: and Inspire Destiny – The Spider and the Moon: Ceremony/Tips on Signs, Divine Masc and Fem Rising, DREAM BIG – THINK BIG – LOVE BIG = 3 Manifesting Wows, New Earth NOW, Generosity and Giving, Caring Community, Our Time is NOW!!!
With Peace, Love and Light.
❤Namaste – Infinite blessings
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Intuitive Medium, Transformation Coach, Healing Facilitator, Poetry, Writer/Author, Inspirational Speaker, Thought Leader and New Earth Visionary.