I cancelled my flight home today

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Both Feet

In a quaint little café in Sedona, Arizona I called Qantas to give them the news. That there would be a spare seat on QF12 to Australia tomorrow night. That I would no longer be returning home.

I didn’t let the fears. The what if’s. The insecurities. The doubts. The uncertainty or the logistics get in the way. I didn’t tell myself to ‘get real’, to ‘be sensible’, or to ‘make sure I’ve got enough for a rainy day’. I didn’t call everyone I know asking them what they thought I should do because I didn’t want to be responsible for the decision I made. I didn’t listen to fear telling me that ‘this was the real world Lucy’, that ‘who did I think I was kidding?’ and ‘what did I really expect to happen if I stayed?’ I didn’t question when or how or where I would end up…

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